8.10.2006

August 10, 2006 - A Sad Loss

Sometimes athletes develop what can only be described as an irrational and unnatural affinity for their equipment. I know that there are definitely some pieces of my own gear that hold a special place in my heart: my water bottle, my black and gold CoolMax shirt, and my Wake Forest Boathouse jacket, for example. To my great surprise and horror, another item from my highly prized collection, my favorite pair of rowing shorts, mysteriously disappeared from my locker today.
Please understand, these are not just any shorts. They are the first pair of spandex I ever purchased. They are “Hind” (don’t laugh) brand, which is nearly impossible to find. I wore them during my first season of racing and, throughout my entire collegiate career, they were the only trou that I ever owned.
Why anyone would want to “borrow” my shorts which have been worked out in three times since their last washing is beyond me. I could understand taking my nice-looking Under Armor shirt or Jesse’s towel, both of which were also hanging in the locker, but to steal my gross shorts is puzzling more than it is unconscionable. In any case, I didn’t appreciate having to row in my boxer briefs, even though they probably are no more revealing than the spandex were.
Perhaps the trou will reappear in my locker tomorrow, washed, folded, and smelling fresh. More likely, though, is that the vanishing will remain a mystery. Jesse has sworn that he will immediately attack anyone he sees wearing my beloved bottoms and reclaim them. His support is invaluable. I feel sorry for the guilty party if ever I find him/her. There are a few things in life I simply cannot stand for, and taking a man’s luckiest pair of spandex shorts is near the top of the list.